



Speaking of feeling melancholy...I was putting River to sleep the other day and I was feeling some depressing feelings. He deserves a better mother. In all honesty, he deserves a better father. At times anyway. I have no idea what I'm doing - will he survive my parenting with his sanity intact? The only real thing I have to console myself with is that there isn't a perfect woman out there to raise this little boy. And I read the other morning in the Gospels where Jesus said that He knows what we need. I took so much comfort from that verse - came at just the right moment.
I'm in this frame of mind right now where I remember reading something from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book about a valentine from a wife to a husband. She penned in her poem about how did he ever find the time? So true. In the midst of child rearing and working and all the other things we have to get done in a lifetime, it's a little hard to reserve a time for your marriage. We were listening to 102.5 the other day on the Song of Solomon and the speaker was saying that marriage was like any other thing that we do with purpose. We have to put effort into it to make it work. I've made a short story quite long - but this is exactly why I think that anyone under the age of 21 probably shouldn't want to get married. Probably shouldn't get married.
This weather is the pits. Maybe that's why I feel in a funk. Plus Jeremy doesn't feel that great and River probably doesn't either and I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Ready to see the sun!
Now is the time to apply the words of Sweet Rose: "remember nothing's quite as bad as it seems when you're so sad..." And cherish the time that River likes me to sing songs to him!