Speaking of feeling melancholy...I was putting River to sleep the other day and I was feeling some depressing feelings. He deserves a better mother. In all honesty, he deserves a better father. At times anyway. I have no idea what I'm doing - will he survive my parenting with his sanity intact? The only real thing I have to console myself with is that there isn't a perfect woman out there to raise this little boy. And I read the other morning in the Gospels where Jesus said that He knows what we need. I took so much comfort from that verse - came at just the right moment.I'm in this frame of mind right now where I remember reading something from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book about a valentine from a wife to a husband. She penned in her poem about how did he ever find the time? So true. In the midst of child rearing and working and all the other things we have to get done in a lifetime, it's a little hard to reserve a time for your marriage. We were listening to 102.5 the other day on the Song of Solomon and the speaker was saying that marriage was like any other thing that we do with purpose. We have to put effort into it to make it work. I've made a short story quite long - but this is exactly why I think that anyone under the age of 21 probably shouldn't want to get married. Probably shouldn't get married.
This weather is the pits. Maybe that's why I feel in a funk. Plus Jeremy doesn't feel that great and River probably doesn't either and I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Ready to see the sun!
Now is the time to apply the words of Sweet Rose: "remember nothing's quite as bad as it seems when you're so sad..." And cherish the time that River likes me to sing songs to him!
I thought you were going to mention that all of you children turned out good even though you had a wacko mom! It is good to see different pics of River.
ReplyDeleteI think the weather has a lot to do with our frame of mind. Take courage; spring is almost here.
I wonder, sometimes, if our relationships with imperfect people(whether parent, child, sibling, spouse, neighbor, so on) aren't there to teach us to love one another. In spite of our shortcomings. Someday River will become aware of the shortcomings of his parents. Hopefully, that awareness will be followed by realization of the sacrifices that they gave him, and he will KNOW that they did the best they could. On a somewhat related note, I love Colleen's comment on Betsy's blog post today "I remember when I realized that people really weren’t exactly what they seemed on the outside. But I still like to appreciate them for who they appear."
ReplyDeleteLooking at my nephews (in these pictures and in the video on Jenna's blog) make me realize how much I love them.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the weather turns sunny and warmer soon. We sound like a bunch of SAD sacks!
ReplyDeleteI often feel lacking as a mother. I read a quote once about our children turning out well in spite of us or something to that effect.
ReplyDeleteShara, I have 2 appts tomorrow morning, but I could babysit if you have something you want to do in the afternoon.
ReplyDeleteThe sun is shining today and River is happy and I feel much improved so I'm gonna drink my coffee and smile big.
ReplyDeleteMom, I don't think I need a sitter today but thanks mucho for the offer.
Anyone want to go shopping in Btown tomorrow?
Riv was a very happy boy today - he likes to take a pawful of dirt from my plant and throw it on the floor. Mess.
ReplyDeleteI'll jump on the sad sack wagon. It is the weather, I have no doubt about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Riv is already looking bigger than when I saw him last, a week ago. Moving home will be worth it just to experience his growing up...I think.
Can you please post some new pictures?
ReplyDeleteWe want some more cute pics of a very sweet little boy.
ReplyDeleteI third the motion.
ReplyDelete