hello, finn avery, good bye, heart

 Last baby bump picture - at least that's what I was thinking when I snapped this. 41 weeks.

I look...like I'm in labor. I guess that's fair to say. Jeremy is wearing the mask because he'd been battling some respiratory thing for over a week and the nurses thought it would be best if he used it.

I can't stop myself - if I'd have had the energy, I would maybe have tried to wake up my husband. By launching something hard at him. I mean, how dare he sleep if I can't?!?!

He arrived! Finn Avery, 8 lb 6 oz, 21 inches at 6:07 am May 21. And, just like twice before, there goes my heart.

The siblings first meeting.

Brothers! River wasn't sure how he felt about sharing a room and handing down toys and clothes to this little guy.

Admiring tiny little toes.

Back at home sweet home. I am always amazed by those women who like staying in the hospital. My bed is more comfortable, no one comes in my room at 5:10 AM to draw my blood, and my food is better. Also my shower pressure is better. And now that I'm done whining, let me say that I admire you nurse/nurse types that can put up with women like me!

Ah, the picture of delight! Someone loves babies as much as her mother...

A family of 5 now. Crazy how that happened...in some ways, it seems like we just came home from the hospital with River. Or was it Madeira?
Anyway, life is going pretty well with three. Finn is a sweet little guy. My older two have kept up their regular routine of spending most of their time outside, whining/fighting enough to prevent me from thinking I'm a great parent, and managing to be charming still.
I have a book that's subtitled "the abundance, mayhem, and joy of motherhood". That is so where I'm at right now. :) God has certainly been good to all 5 of us.

separate but equal

As the days wind down with life with 2 children (I live in hope), it's a little strange to me that I'll have two of a gender, what with things being separate but equal around here for 2 years. I had two of whatever but one for him and one for her.
We ate out at Red Lobster one time when Madeira was an infant and some lady stopped by our table and told us we had the "perfect family" with one little boy and one little girl. After she left, Jeremy asked me if that's how I felt. Sure. That's what I had. That's what was best. But yes, doubling up on something will be interesting.

I didn't bother taking pictures of the snow boots, rain boots, flip flops, toys, the sunglasses, the treasure boxes, her nail polish and hair things, his swords and guns.
I always thought it would be nice to have kids in pairs so they'd have each other to play with but these two get along just fine. Although he will not play dolls (kinda glad actually...), they do play "house" which involves hiding in the closet and making fake food. There is no game, however, that she's not willing to play with him. Sword fights, gun fights, army men, racing with a million little cars and so forth.
The bucket list:
I sifted through Madeira's outgrown clothes so if this little one is a girl, she will have some cute clothes to wear. I haven't gone through River's stuff yet but I have plenty of adorable outfits if it ends up being a boy. I have tiny diapers, baby nuks, the baby equipment out and assembled. My mom is in charge of making a few new burp cloths.
I even bothered to print out a birth plan sheet. Although I'm not really sure why. This is my birth plan: go into labor naturally, have an easy, peasy labor (like 4 hours or less, no other complications and we'll leave it at that), etc. Now how it will really be is...probably not that.
Also finish planting the garden, finish washing the windows, get a little more food in the freezer, defrost the freezer, can't even remember what else...I had some other things such as spring cleaning my laundry room but the organizers I was going to use for it have been backordered for (drumroll, please...) about 4 months now so it will probably have to wait until after number 3 gets here.
Oh yes, and she also had to give up her nuk. I snipped the first one. At first blush it might seem like she was cool with it but the second picture was more like the proper response. I think we're golden now.

The last little bit is typically the hardest, in terms of waiting and anticipation. 

Come on, my child, you are welcome here any time (in May, not that I see that being a problem).

 

**When I talked about planting the garden, Jeremy had a little work to do building a retaining wall before I could. Turned out pretty awesome, right?

the finest man i know

I grew up listening to a Grand Old Opry record that had "Father's Table Grace" on it. It starts out with the words "my thoughts go back to childhood and the finest man I know..." That always makes me think of my dad.
I seldom share something as personal as my memories about my dad - it's just hard for me.
But Jeremy and I have been doing a parenting Bible study so I can't help but think about my parents parenting techniques as we talk about things.
And two teachable moments about my dad keep coming to mind.
I hate my chin. Always have. I was in grade school when I remember whining to my dad about how much I hated my it. And he told me, "A strong chin means a strong woman."
I don't know if he ever knew how perfect of a reply that was. It would have been useless to try to convince me it wasn't ugly. And now I've gone for a long time thinking that it's better to be strong than it is to be pretty. Someday, if Madeira has similar struggles, I hope I take the time to address her little heart with such good advice.
Then there was the ordeal of me being in Brownies in 3rd grade. I really, really, REALLY wanted to be in Brownies. So as I was begging my parents to let me, I started crying. And my dad caved. I got to be in Brownies for a year. When my siblings tell this story, they make me sound like a conniving little wench. When I think about it, it makes me think of a tenderhearted man who was moved by the want of his little girl.
Listen to your children. Care about the things that make their little hearts beat faster. Because some day those little things will turn into big things. And you'll still need to care and listen.
I'm so thankful I was given such a good man as a dad. Actually I can't be thankful enough.

What a man!

I have no idea how many books Dad read to us over time. And, those green shoelaces are awesome!

This is why he did such a good job reading to us.

year 2 for my deira

So this year I found a party on pinterest that inspired Mad's 2nd birthday celebration. I didn't get anywhere near as fancy pants as whoever did the original but it worked for us. :)

 Cake, candies, and snack set out on Wendy's amazing chevron table.

 Mad's fat little owl cake. A Dotterer owl apparently...

 Uncle Wes helping put on her new TOMs. :)

 The spread.

 A certain someone had a rather hard time with the understanding that it wasn't his birthday quite yet...
At the end of every party, I get a lot critical of myself and think that things weren't quite as perfect as I was hoping. And River got a fever the night before and was dosed on meds for the party. And my house felt too small and too loud.
So also at the end of every party, I have to remind myself of this - do I have a birthday party because I love my kids and want to celebrate their growth in a way that they'll enjoy? Or is it somehow weirdly about me and how great of a hostess/party planner/cake maker I am?
Clearly it's not about me.
Enjoy the party!

first class quirks

Before I forget too many little things about everyday life around here, I thought I'd share some of my children's quirks, singly and collectively and a few of mine as well.

His preference for sleeping somewhere other than his bed.

 Towers, bridges, race tracks, train tracks...

 Crowning the bears

 "Cooking" with fake food

 His friends (there are more than these 2 but when they're home - he loves to be with them)

 Macaroni & cheese

 His "target" gun, R cape, rocket shirt, and "broken" pants

 Hers: books

 Making herself comfortable wherever

 Coloring

 Wearing my glasses

 "Nacks"

 

Wearing head bands backwards, purses, and painted toes

 

 

 Cleaning. She loves getting a wet rag and going to town...this will probably last until she'd be pretty good at it.

 Theirs - gun fights

 Playing "hide and seek" in Madeira's closet. No one is either hiding or seeking but as long as they have fun and behave...whatever.

 Posing for me so well.

 

Anything for breakfast involving syrup

 

 There are fights, disagreements, and tears here at times. But they wouldn't know what to do without each other.

 Me: organizing, organizing, organizing...more info on that to come as I continue the process of purging my house of the unnecessary and cleaning things up.

 Pitching. I went through all my portfolios from school and while it was hard (hello, Lisa!), I made myself get rid of all that work I went to, typing up recipes and writing papers, etc. I haven't consulted them in 6 years so I figure I should let them go.

 Spring is on my mind. I've switched to mostly iced coffee by now.

There are more than just these things, of course. River has already informed me of what he'd like packed for his school lunch (butter and jam - meaning pb&j). Madeira has her favorite dresses and boots and shoes, etc. One loves baths, the other fights tooth and nail when it comes to being cleaned. They both reappropriate my kitchen tools and coins from the coin jar. River wants to be read the same 3 books over and over until I finally introduce him to a new one. Madeira loves to dance. They both tell me not to sing. :(
Life is a crazy little journey with both of them!

in defense of traditional values

There was a blog post shared on Facebook recently titled "I look down on young women with husbands and kids and I'm not sorry". The post got a lot of flack from stay at home moms and moms everywhere, understandably. Jeremy thought I was fuming because, according to her, I have "no real accomplishments", "don't take care of myself", and I don't "work". All these things could be and are insulting. Like all a mother or stay at home mom does is park her bulk around the house and do nothing while her children raise themselves and her house cleans itself and her marriage maintains itself and meals make themselves... But the real problem here is her disdain of traditional values - marriage, children, and training them. I probably shouldn't be surprised, but I don't know how she can think maintaining a marriage over x years and rearing children that are Godly, kind, servant hearted, and hard working is not an accomplishment and doesn't take work. Where does she think that engineers, doctors (clearly the only careers that are worth something...), etc come from if they aren't raised and trained and loved by their parents?
I actually did bother to read her whole post (very short) in which she claims that marriage and having children are so ordinary as to be average. (She is neither married nor a mother.) She is right - they are ordinary things and yet so beautiful and amazing and truly miracles from God. I could look at finding a partner for life as boring - and yet, I wouldn't have gotten married if God hadn't put Jeremy & I together. I could look at children as an unplanned burden. And yet, seeing that children don't just "happen" to everyone, they feel like a precious miracle to me. They were born and born healthy through no work of my own.
She also says that laundry will never be as important as a being a doctor or engineer or building a business. True. If I found my value of being a SAHM by my ability to do laundry, I would be thoroughly depressed. But laundry = taking care of my family. Taking care of my family = love. Therefore, although laundry is boring and tedious, it's just part of my service to my family. And what does she know - I could be raising a doctor, engineer, a business owner, a child who grows up to have a life of service to others.
She might think backpacking through Asia, landing a dream job, or a golden promotion are worth far more than what I do every day. I say, big deal. I've worked outside the home. I had jobs I endured and jobs I liked and I can tell you what I'm doing now feels like the first thing I've done that's really "worth" something. I'm doing the Lord's work here.
Chin up, ladies! What we do has an eternal contribution to the world unlike anything this woman will ever do at her job.