why i blog

I'm not trying to make money with this blog. I'm not trying to get x number of page views or reach x number of people.  I simply have a story to tell. Usually it's mundane and boring. You've probably heard it before, a million times and in a million different places. But still I have a story to tell and sometimes it's an itch that has to be scratched.
Frequently my story telling comes off as whining. That must be my way.
So here goes the latest story:
My children, thankfully, are sick infrequently. And whenever they do have the nerve to get ill, it tests the limits of my patience.
A week ago Saturday Finn got a cough which became RSV. I took him to the doctor on Monday and she told me that 1) there was nothing to do for RSV except let it run its course - 4-7 days and 2) all of my kids would get RSV in one form or another. I couldn't wait for the week to unfold...
All of this would have been neither here nor there so much, except that Jeremy left at the crack of dawn Tuesday morning for a 4 day trip to a Spray Foam Convention in New Mexico. Leaving me home with a sick ward.
I woke up Tuesday morning, giving myself a pep talk that I was, in fact, equal to the task of dealing with a house full of sick kids alone for a week.
Things were OKish until Wednesday. Finn spilled my cup of coffee on the carpet...Madeira threw up on it...in less than a week of its cleaning, it now sports two fresh stains. Madeira got a fever and began coughing. She wouldn't take her tylenol. I'm often reminded of my brother's inexplicable refusal to take a painkiller when we were on the West Coast for vacation when he was 6 and had an absess tooth...but now my offspring basically refuse medicine the minute they need it. I need to take child psychology 101, clearly. I had to sneak her medicine into her drinks.
Wednesday night I separated River and Madeira. It ended up being a good thing because she threw up again in the bed I made for her. I probably dealt with the puke with my signature growl/heavy sigh, and the poor little lady meekly apologized to me so I just couldn't stay mad at her.
Somehow Finn and Madeira both ended up in my bed that night, feverish, coughing, and thrashing. Thursday morning I got out of bed, bleary eyed, exhausted, and feeling as mean as a snake. I barked at my children that I was not in the mood for anything but of course, anything happened anyway.
The two older ones managed to break part of a tupperware lid. A ceramic bowl got a chunk broken off the rim. The light fixture that River broke quite a some time ago spontaneously combusted and sent a shower of glass glitter all over the kitchen.
It was probably not the best of ideas, but we all were in desperate need to get out of the house, so I took them over to the McDonald's play place. It was a welcome distraction, Mad fell asleep on the way home, and my mother in law was back from her vacation by then and took River for the afternoon/evening so he didn't go stir crazy. We all felt a little better.
Friday, everyone was feeling or seeming to feel good enough that we went to Bloomington with Wendy for a little shopping. I zipped into The Fresh Market for about 10 minutes to pick up some fresh tulips for my own refreshment and also to simply bask in the store and listen to classical music by myself and look at pretty things.
Jeremy got home that night around 5. Finally. I really have no idea how people function as single parents.
His week:

 My week:

Just sayin'.

**pictures courtesy of Jeremy & River

We spent the weekend around home, cancelled date night at our house on Saturday night, and kept the younger two home from church again.
I flew solo all day on Monday again and Tuesday I just needed out so we went grocery shopping. Normally this isn't a big deal. But Madeira picked out some goldfish and whined and cried because I wouldn't let her eat them in the store. Finn woke up from his short and much needed nap and started crying. River was walking in front of the cart and pulling on it when I ran over him. He started crying about his foot and some concerned citizen in the store told me that his foot was run over by the cart in case I hadn't noticed. She seemed to think it was a situation that deserved a lot of emotion and consoling and so forth. Frankly, I wasn't feeling very sympathetic for a boy who was foolish enough to be pulling on a moving cart. There was no blood or broken bones. I just wanted out of there by this time.
Finn cried all through the check out process. I finally got him out of his carseat which made him happy but the second I set him down to stuff my mile long receipt in my purse, he naturally fell in the cart and hit his head. By now the entire grocery store full of middle aged/old people was watching me. I could not get out of there fast enough. Fortunately someone working there took the cart of food out while I "managed" the kids.
Then we got home and Madeira proceeded to poop her pants 3 times. I guess she forgot that she's potty trained...The reed diffuser on the back of the toilet mysteriously jumped off and shattered into a jillion pieces on the bathroom floor.
I was anxiously waiting on a phone call from my brother to tell me that his son had arrived and instead of Alex, Jeremy called me like 10 times that day. Seriously? **Al finally did call with the good news, just so you know. Pierce Wendell Dotterer born on February 3. :)**
My nerves were shot.
After supper, I was sitting on the couch and Madeira was climbing all over me. I'm sure I gave one of my exasperated growl-sighs, when she flung her arms around my neck and said, "I love you, Mom."
---
In that instant, I forgave the poop, the sickness, the barf, the dirty carpet, broken stuff, the whining, the fighting, the drama at the grocery store, and all the rest.
I don't deserved her mercy or anyone else's for that matter. I get so impatient over things that don't matter and don't spend enough energy on the things that do matter. Her sweetness reminded me why I'm even doing what I'm doing.
I know my story here often seems like it's about little annoyances and small victories, but the real one is of mercy, forgiveness, patience, and love.
Thank God He gave me these little people to remind me about the story.