florida

Believe it or not, neither Jeremy nor I had ever been to Florida. I actually had no desire to go there for quite some time. Then I thought who was I decide that Florida was unworthy without a visit?

Also last winter being what it was, I was determined to go somewhere (anywhere! but Siberia) this winter.

 Does this airport guy look a little like "you people are insane but I'm being kind about it" or what?
I'll be honest. Traveling with kids makes me nervous, especially when we fly. You just never know how they'll do.
They did great on the way there in spite of an hour delay on the airplane. So good, in fact, the guy next to me leaned over near the end of the trip and told me that the kids were so well behaved, we must be "amazing parents". Yep, that's it.

 Feeling pretty cool in the Tahoe we rented.

 This guy was not so sure about the sand.

 Dunkin date with my favorite 4 year old. He thought it was pretty awesome.

 I dragged my family to this little Thai restaurant for supper on Valentine's Day. We all LOVE crab rangoon in this family, but alas, I have yet to get Jeremy excited about anything else on the menu. Me and my pad thai will have to just enjoy each other, I guess.

 Lowry Park Zoo, Tampa

 Snake petting - that's my girl. Her brother declined.

 Gotta love the "mom" face in this family picture on the safari ride at the zoo. 

We picked up Jeremy's mom after the zoo since she kindly offered to come down for a few days to help out with the kids. 

This left us with an evening for a leisurely romantic stroll along the beach.

 Busch Gardens, Tampa

 Hot pretzel date with my favorite 2 year old. Like mother, like daughter - carbs all the way, baby!

 America may not necessarily run on Dunkin but we kinda do. There were many DDs around and we stopped at...a few...

 Travel with a 9 month old.

 Since we made the romantic evening stroll, we also made a romantic morning stroll.

 And it was a cool morning, so we stopped at a cute little coffee shop for a hot drink. The couple that drinks coffee together, stays together, right? Or something like that.

 

 And also thanks to our nanny, we took off one afternoon for a date to St. Pete.

Glass blowing demo

Our stroll around town led us to this cool sun dial.

 

 Also in our jaunt around town, we found this quiet street with beautiful homes near the canal and I decided in that moment that Florida was worthy. I could live here.

 The Chihuly collection

 Our first Melting Pot experience

The Clearwater Marine Aquarium

This is not your typical aquarium. Mostly they bring injured sea animals here to nurse along and keep. If anyone has seen the movie "Dolphin Tale", the dolphin is the movie is here and got her prosthetic tail here.

For the record, River declared it "boring". There is an aquarium in Tampa which I think they would have liked better, but Dad was not up for the traffic to get there. Did I mention that it took us 3 hours to get home from Busch Gardens...traffic hold ups, both of our phones died on the way back which we were using for a GPS...it was a hairy situation...but we made it back. Alive.

 Our condo was next to Madeira Beach so I just had to get some pictures there with her.

 

Jeremy's great aunt spends her winters in Sarasota so we met up with her for supper the last night.

 

 And then we went back to our condo, packed up, got up at the crack of dawn the next day (4:45 AM people!), had an uneventful flight home, and got back to Bloomington before 9. So no excuse to not get right to work with unpacking, laundry, etc.
Just like that. Vacation over.
Until next time, Florida.
Although I'm putting in an order for warmer weather and less wind my next trip.
XOXO,
Shara & co

brothers

I'll be honest. Growing up, I found my brothers to be, in general, obnoxious weasels.
I think we've all moved on in life and matured some so things are different and better now but still, my sisters are amazing and my best friends.
Then the niblings started coming and ended up being boys for quite some time.
Then I ended up having a few boys of my own. So boys are pretty cool, having brothers is cooler.
Just ask them.

why i blog

I'm not trying to make money with this blog. I'm not trying to get x number of page views or reach x number of people.  I simply have a story to tell. Usually it's mundane and boring. You've probably heard it before, a million times and in a million different places. But still I have a story to tell and sometimes it's an itch that has to be scratched.
Frequently my story telling comes off as whining. That must be my way.
So here goes the latest story:
My children, thankfully, are sick infrequently. And whenever they do have the nerve to get ill, it tests the limits of my patience.
A week ago Saturday Finn got a cough which became RSV. I took him to the doctor on Monday and she told me that 1) there was nothing to do for RSV except let it run its course - 4-7 days and 2) all of my kids would get RSV in one form or another. I couldn't wait for the week to unfold...
All of this would have been neither here nor there so much, except that Jeremy left at the crack of dawn Tuesday morning for a 4 day trip to a Spray Foam Convention in New Mexico. Leaving me home with a sick ward.
I woke up Tuesday morning, giving myself a pep talk that I was, in fact, equal to the task of dealing with a house full of sick kids alone for a week.
Things were OKish until Wednesday. Finn spilled my cup of coffee on the carpet...Madeira threw up on it...in less than a week of its cleaning, it now sports two fresh stains. Madeira got a fever and began coughing. She wouldn't take her tylenol. I'm often reminded of my brother's inexplicable refusal to take a painkiller when we were on the West Coast for vacation when he was 6 and had an absess tooth...but now my offspring basically refuse medicine the minute they need it. I need to take child psychology 101, clearly. I had to sneak her medicine into her drinks.
Wednesday night I separated River and Madeira. It ended up being a good thing because she threw up again in the bed I made for her. I probably dealt with the puke with my signature growl/heavy sigh, and the poor little lady meekly apologized to me so I just couldn't stay mad at her.
Somehow Finn and Madeira both ended up in my bed that night, feverish, coughing, and thrashing. Thursday morning I got out of bed, bleary eyed, exhausted, and feeling as mean as a snake. I barked at my children that I was not in the mood for anything but of course, anything happened anyway.
The two older ones managed to break part of a tupperware lid. A ceramic bowl got a chunk broken off the rim. The light fixture that River broke quite a some time ago spontaneously combusted and sent a shower of glass glitter all over the kitchen.
It was probably not the best of ideas, but we all were in desperate need to get out of the house, so I took them over to the McDonald's play place. It was a welcome distraction, Mad fell asleep on the way home, and my mother in law was back from her vacation by then and took River for the afternoon/evening so he didn't go stir crazy. We all felt a little better.
Friday, everyone was feeling or seeming to feel good enough that we went to Bloomington with Wendy for a little shopping. I zipped into The Fresh Market for about 10 minutes to pick up some fresh tulips for my own refreshment and also to simply bask in the store and listen to classical music by myself and look at pretty things.
Jeremy got home that night around 5. Finally. I really have no idea how people function as single parents.
His week:

 My week:

Just sayin'.

**pictures courtesy of Jeremy & River

We spent the weekend around home, cancelled date night at our house on Saturday night, and kept the younger two home from church again.
I flew solo all day on Monday again and Tuesday I just needed out so we went grocery shopping. Normally this isn't a big deal. But Madeira picked out some goldfish and whined and cried because I wouldn't let her eat them in the store. Finn woke up from his short and much needed nap and started crying. River was walking in front of the cart and pulling on it when I ran over him. He started crying about his foot and some concerned citizen in the store told me that his foot was run over by the cart in case I hadn't noticed. She seemed to think it was a situation that deserved a lot of emotion and consoling and so forth. Frankly, I wasn't feeling very sympathetic for a boy who was foolish enough to be pulling on a moving cart. There was no blood or broken bones. I just wanted out of there by this time.
Finn cried all through the check out process. I finally got him out of his carseat which made him happy but the second I set him down to stuff my mile long receipt in my purse, he naturally fell in the cart and hit his head. By now the entire grocery store full of middle aged/old people was watching me. I could not get out of there fast enough. Fortunately someone working there took the cart of food out while I "managed" the kids.
Then we got home and Madeira proceeded to poop her pants 3 times. I guess she forgot that she's potty trained...The reed diffuser on the back of the toilet mysteriously jumped off and shattered into a jillion pieces on the bathroom floor.
I was anxiously waiting on a phone call from my brother to tell me that his son had arrived and instead of Alex, Jeremy called me like 10 times that day. Seriously? **Al finally did call with the good news, just so you know. Pierce Wendell Dotterer born on February 3. :)**
My nerves were shot.
After supper, I was sitting on the couch and Madeira was climbing all over me. I'm sure I gave one of my exasperated growl-sighs, when she flung her arms around my neck and said, "I love you, Mom."
---
In that instant, I forgave the poop, the sickness, the barf, the dirty carpet, broken stuff, the whining, the fighting, the drama at the grocery store, and all the rest.
I don't deserved her mercy or anyone else's for that matter. I get so impatient over things that don't matter and don't spend enough energy on the things that do matter. Her sweetness reminded me why I'm even doing what I'm doing.
I know my story here often seems like it's about little annoyances and small victories, but the real one is of mercy, forgiveness, patience, and love.
Thank God He gave me these little people to remind me about the story.

31 things about me (that i know you wanted to know...)

Back in the day, I got a magazine that had a woman and the 10 things that made her happy on the back page. It was always fun to see what those things were and inspired by another blog I happened upon, I thought I'd share some things about me. And thought why stop at 10? Might as well celebrate being in my 30s and all...
These aren't necessarily all things that make me happy but are all things that belong to me, if you see what I'm saying...

1.) Loud noises definitely do not make me happy. Particularly sudden loud noises. My children will never have balloons around the house to jump on or stab or whap themselves in the head with or whatever kids like to do with balloons. This is a long time phobia which sadly, has not decreased with age or wisdom. At one of the 2 birthday parties I was allowed to attend as a kid, we were having a relay race and I was supposed to blow up a balloon, sit on it, and pop it. It was a terrible situation which ended in tears and humiliation and a whole lotta fear. Many years later my family was at a science museum. These are great places for sudden loud noises. We ended up in a room with a criminally insane museum worker who gleefully told us we were about to hear the "loudest noise ever!" There were several of us in near-fetal position by the time we got out of there. And if you think you're going to be cutesy and help me overcome my fear by blasting me with deafening noise, I might rip out your throat. Don't take it personally. I'm considering creating a shirt that says "I'm sorry for what I did while under the influence of loud noises" or "while anticipating a loud noise". You get the idea. My fix-it husband tried to help once upon a time at a birthday party by assuring me that the balloons drifting around on the poky grass would not be loud once they popped. They were very loud when they popped and it was a terrible birthday party. He's learned though. When someone starting setting off fireworks before I could beat a hasty retreat, he chewed them out for me. What a guy!
Whew. And now that I've got that off my chest, we can move on to more pleasant subjects.

2.) I have never and will never like pop. As a kid this seemed like a huge burden. I remember going on a field trip in grade school and feeling terribly sad that I couldn't drink the pop in these cute colored cans. Had bottled water not been a thing back then? Honestly, I remember being thirsty. A lot.

3.) This might surprise no one but I've come up with all the kids' names. Jeremy agreed to them. :)

4.) I am a professionally trained Le Cordon Bleu pastry chef.

5.) One of the fringe benefits of being in the culinary world is meeting all the weird people in it. At one point in time one of my sisters told me that I attracted "weird people". I was afraid to get married. Now I feel compelled to comment randomly to Jeremy that he's so normal. Who knew? But I digress.
In San Diego, I worked with a French chef until he was fired and then with his of Vietnamese-descent successor. The guy that owned the pastry store had an English dad and a Swedish mom.
Back here, I worked nights with a colorful woman who told me that she was a nun at one point, dated women at one point, and from the sound of things, also dated a gazillion men. I couldn't keep track. She was an eye opener.
After that job, I worked at a bakery where I was almost always the only American. My boss was Serbian, the secretary was Russian, my coworkers were from Iraq and Canada, the cleaning lady was Mexican and then there was a parade of other Serbian or Romanians that worked with the bread.
I remember my rotund little Iraqi coworker asking me what nationality I was once. When I told him my ancestors were mostly German, he remarked that he thought Germans were tall. I was always under the impression that they were short. And then a German started working at the bakery that was seriously like 7 feet tall.
I also worked at the turkey farm then and my bosses were Jewish. That was an experience.
Did I mention that Jeremy is normal? He speaks English and stuff...

6.) Speaking of my foreign coworkers: I worked with a Serbian named Lily for a while. She was a trained as a nurse but couldn't speak much English so she was stuck rolling out Danishes and croissants at the bakery. I was pregnant with River when I worked with her and was dreaming about a little girl. One day my boss came in to the kitchen and told me that Lily could tell I was pregnant (I was about 5 months into it) and that I was having a son. Up to that point, it never occurred to me that I might have a boy. What would I do with a boy? But after that, I just knew that's what I was having. And frankly, this has worked out well for me. I love my first born boy.

You can't pay him to look normal for a picture

7.) I had to get stitches in my foot when I was 9 because I jumped on an auger in a grain bin.

8.) I have never met another Shara. I always liked having a name that was "mine". Therefore, I want to give my children names that are "their's".

9.) Target. That is all.

10.) I do not like being short. I didn't want to burden my kids with shortness. I also never wanted to marry someone a lot older than me. Jeremy is 15 inches taller and 2 years younger. I know whereof I speak. :)

11.) I found Finn's name in a special baby issue of Martha Stewart in 2003. 11 years later I got my Finn. He is awesome.

12.) And about Martha Stewart... I love her magazine and her stuff. Before you even think it - I know she was in jail. I also don't care about Martha Stewart personally. In fact, I've heard from unverified sources that she's an old broad. But she and her associates make awesome craft supplies and an amazing magazine... I rarely get around to actually making much of anything in the mag but it's enough just to be inspired by it.

13.) I've had several people ask me where I came up with Madeira's name. I worked in the radiology department of St. Joe's in high school. One day I filled out a film chart for a little girl named Madeira and decided I wanted a little girl with that name some day. The vision I had of my daughter was a girl that was both artistic and feminine yet strong and confident. Dream fulfilled. My girl is awesome.

Quintessential Madeira

14.) I was scarred for a looong time for being forced to volunteer at the nursing home as a kid. I still vividly recall sitting in music class hating my life because we had to work at the home after school. Our job consisted of emptying and refilling water jugs in the residents' rooms. Not so bad. But there was the issue of walking in on a lady doing her business in the bathroom in the dark with the door open...and the lady that moaned for help and grabbed at you... And then we were responsible for wheeling the residents to the dining room for supper. We were little uncoordinated girls. The residents were hard to push and hard to understand and this resulted in lots of wheeling them to the wrong spot and banged knees and hands and the occasional swearing (that was the residents, cross my heart). Mom called it volunteering, I called it torture. I've sufficiently recovered enough that nursing homes don't freak me out entirely but good for all you people that love geriatrics. I'll take ankle biters any day.

15.) I like saying Firth of Forth, fiduciary, and reciprocity for no other reason than that they sound awesome.

16.) I was probably in 4th grade. My sister and one or two other kids were in the dry cow pasture and heading home through, I guess, just the pasture. Whilst we were passing time away in the dry cow pasture (unless we missed him on the way there), a bull was let free in the pasture. All of us managed to get under the fence before he mauled us but I can still see him stalking us along the fence, snorting and furious. All that was between us and a certain painful death was a double row of electrified barbed wire...to date, it is the most terrifying experience of my life.

17.) I am rather a fan of staying home. I am a creature of comfort, I suppose, and home is comfortable. It's not like I never want to leave but the idea of nursing a hot cup of coffee or tea or whatever in some lounging clothes with a book or knitting in front of my ersatz fireplace is just fantastic. Jane Austen nailed it: "There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort."

18.) Grapefruit. I wish my house could smell like grapefruit at all times. Or orange blossoms.

19.) Me + chapstick = serious love affair. I should have the softest lips of any person in the history of time with all the chapstick I have rolled on them in my life. I had quite the collection built up as a teenager and then my sister and cousin pretty much ate it all. I fell off the chapstick wagon for a few years - I guess I had more boring things to spend money on - but not to fear. I have rebuilt my stock. It's a lot more basic these days (no lipsmackers!). But the love is still just as strong.

20.) Several or many years I read a sanctimonious mantra in a book, and I still stand behind it 100%. "Only the boring are bored." My children will regret ever telling me they're bored, I will make sure of this. After I opted to be a stay-at-home mom, people acted like I might die with only one kid to take care of. But I can do stuff or not do stuff and be perfectly happy either way. I am the mistress of my own castle here and if I want to knock myself out doing some Dutch cleaning or sitting on the couch doing nothing but "knitting disparate thoughts" together, I am content either way. I will probably not live long enough to read all the books I want to read, visit all the places I want to visit, eat all the food I want to try, see all the things I want to see, make all the things I want to make. This world is an amazing place, full of amazing, exciting things to do and see and if you are ever bored, my friend, it is because you are a dull creature.

21.) I don't remember how many summers I picked and/or sold sweet corn, but I'm going to have to come up with something of similar caliber for my children. There's no better character builder than dragging 5 gallon buckets of corn through a wet corn patch or sitting in the hot sun for hours selling corn. Also there's no better family together time than having a sibling or parent holler "Bucket!" faster than you can drag said buckets through said nasty corn patch in the light of 5:30 am.

22.) I adore Irish music. Ask my children. Many is the time we have jammed out to Celtic Thunder or Celtic Quest. They love it as much as I do.

23.) I love food. I love making food, I love eating food, I love thinking about food, I love writing about food. I read my cookbooks like novels. I would consider myself a foodie but, as I read once, I can't call myself that because we aren't real classy about food here all the time. My guilty foods are cheetohs and nacho cheese dip. Am I redeemed by never meeting a vegetable I didn't like?

24.) Leather. Couches, boots, bags...

25.) I heart organizing. I hate cleaning. I do both because they are connected but talk about the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug. My vision of my house is of everything in its place, neatly labeled and in a cute organizer. Have you ever been to the container store? Umm, yes.

26.) Orla Kiely designs. I have her luggage, overnight bags, pillows, canisters. I bought some Orla Kiely designed storage bins at Target once - talk about a trifecta of perfection for this ol' gal. (Also she's Irish. I'm sure this is significant somehow.)

My coffee corner with my Orla Kiely canisters. Sigh.

27.) When I see something that I know will make my special people's hearts beat a little faster, I get it. I've had my Christmas gifts for months. Also most of my kids' birthday gifts. When I read about people waiting until weeks or days or heaven forbid, hours before Christmas to get gifts, I scratch my head. Not I. I'm like a present squirrel. Except I don't keep or eat them.

28.) In my mind, I have a library in my house. A room dedicated to nothing other than housing books. It has comfy leather chairs, a fireplace, a ladder to reach the topmost shelves of books, and it smells like vanilla and tobacco. (You know they make candles that smell like that, right?) Also tartan plaid throws over the leather seats. And a hot cuppa on the side tables. Did I mention that I like to stay home?

29.) Me likey the coffee. Piping hot or iced cold. In desperation, I have also drunk it somewhere in between.

30.) I cut my reading teeth on Louis L'Amour. And I had a tough dad. So my expectation of men is that they be like the Sacketts/my dad. You know, you-fix-your-own-gunshot-wound kind of people. To be fair, this is also my expectation of women. The "only the boring are bored" is going to be paired with "deal with it." I want my offspring to be gutsy. Life is more than likely going to require that you be a person of strength. You might as well learn the lesson early.

31.) On a lighter note: I had the ugliest haircut as a preschooler. My mom tries to justify this nastiness by telling me it was cut by a beautician but the fact remains, it was just heinous beyond words. I would have looked better shaven and shorn. Half of my head was bangs and the other half was long and stringy.
I'm going to have to take my own advice and deal with it. There is nothing I can do to change this.

Any one else see River with a bad wig on?

 Go ahead and laugh.
Enjoy your day, feeling enriched (or burdened) by knowing me and my glorious opinions just a little better.

an abundant life

Having an ordinary, average life is such a gift.
It's really been on Jeremy & I lately that we need to teach our children to be grateful. If nothing else, it is a clear commandment of God. And then when I start to look into reasons why we should be thankful, it's so plain that our lives will be so much richer when we value all that we've been given and thank the Lord for it.
And about my three blessings: I love my children. I love the life and activity and joy that they bring to my life and our house. I love to watch them learn and play and interact.
They also wear me out sometimes. As I may have mentioned before.
Sunday, for example. We were on a bus trip to another church, probably about halfway there in the morning when Mad puked all over me. I spent an hour in soggy, smelly clothes and then had to borrow someone else's when we got to church. It was quite the deal.
Monday my children were running on fumes. I heard Finn gagging and saw that Madeira had him in a choke hold. When I barked at her to let him go, she dropped him like a hot potato, and he smacked his face on the edge of the coffee table. Finn was shrieking and dripping blood, Madeira was shrieking because she was in trouble, and River was crying because Finn was hurt. The older two grouches refused to nap. By the time supper rolled around, River was beyond help. I sent him up to his room and thank the good Lord, he fell asleep. By 6:30. Needless to say, my brain was like a bag of pudding by the end of the day.
I started reading a book in bed that night and this verse jumped out at me:
"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." St. John 10:10
The idea of living an abundant life is what I want. In the midst of the chaos and sometimes drudgery of mothering, I want to remember that I have the Lord. My life is abundant with His grace. Everything I have is from His hand and with His thought of me.
This is the thing that I'm most thankful for right now. An abundant life. 
What are you thankful for this season?

Our thankful tree from several years ago

let them be little

Let's talk in cliches for a moment. How many times have you heard that "this is the time of your lives" or "your children grow so fast, enjoy every minute of it", etc?
So thinking about those pithy sayings, I still on occasion have a hard time letting my kids be little. (As if I have a choice.) The spills. The tantrums. The whining. The poop. The barf. The littleness.
Occasionally I dream blissfully of the days of quiet mornings, nursing a cup of coffee, reading my Bible, cleaning a house that stays clean for more than 15 minutes, spending less time trying to get stains out of little laundry. Some days I just want my kids to grow up. And I know they will. They are.

Still...
One day Madeira managed to fall out of the van when I was in a hurry to leave, of course. (The van was parked, FYI.) She was taking a bath one day. I went in to check on her and found a turd on the bathroom rug. Even she can't handle her own fecal matter. Another time she pooped on the carpet and told me she put the goods in the toilet. After I got done cleaning up the smears, River stepped on the poo that she'd hid under some doll clothes. She likes to empty her pee into the toilet herself. Commendable but there is often spillage on the floor... OK, I may be tired of the potty training process. Also she's two.
But then she redeems herself. Like the time she was accosting Finn in his walker and informed me, before I intervened, that "the poor kid is fine." She is a first rate snuggler. She LOVES to take showers (I can't even remember the last time I took a shower alone. Sniff.); she sits on the shower floor, folding and petting a washcloth. She will try just about any food. She doesn't like pop. My girl.
Thanks to the terrible twos, the boys actually seem like a cake walk right now. River tends to not take a nap, but he keeps himself pretty well entertained while the others are sleeping. I actually love his age. He sleeps by himself, pees by himself, does lots by himself and yet, he is still a gentle, kind hearted little guy. I love to watch his imagination at work - his jawbones, plus plus toys, army men, legos, playmobil, etc keep his attention for hours. Awesome.
However, when it comes to learning, he has the attention span of a gnat. And I'm going to blame this on his dad, but he's tends to fall to pieces when he thinks something is too hard. Even Jeremy admits he was probably like that... One of these days, I'll be a good cheerleader.
Finn is just a fat, sweet little chub. He doesn't sleep all night and probably won't until he's one or close to it, like the other two. I have made peace with that. A long time ago actually. However, he does not seem to have the necessary skills to suck on a bottle. He needs to learn as his bottle feeding days are swiftly approaching...
As a tween or thereabouts, I thought my mom was well on her way to insanity. This post might explain why I'm well on my way to insanity. A thousand times a day, your mind says, I love being a mom. I should have like 5 more kids. The next minute, you realize that motherhood has kicked you in the pants, and you have no idea what you're doing. This happens about 100 times a day.
The kids are good. They are bad. The kids listen. They are stubborn weasels. The kids play like angels. They fight like demons. See? God must be giving us just enough to take heart and just enough to remain humble.

 I need to better disciplined about getting up early in the morning. But at the risk of sounding like a whiny heinie, it's kind of hard after a night of interrupted sleep.

 He is all about taking an umbrella when it rains. But we live in the prairie. Rain is most frequently accompanied by violent winds. Thus the destruction of the umbrella...

And for the truly insane thought - when I look at the last two pictures, I realize I would have more kids. After all, when it's good, it's so good, I forgive and forget all the bad.